Most of this was posted elsewhere, thought I’d share it here.
I played a team game with a couple of my friends last night. I took Madrak, my teammate, Wade, took Doomshaper. Wade’s fiance, Haley, took Kromac (the same one that leaped off my painting table) and her teammate, Kater, brought his Searforge. We grabbed a nice table in the back corner of the gaming area, since we were full-up on C2A games last night. The store was pretty crowded, so you had to work to get to where we were.
Wade and I won the roll and we get deployed. The other team finishes deployment when the stereotypical nerd trundles up to our table. He’s wearing gray sweatpants (don’t they always?), a t-shirt that’s two sizes too small and a jacket of some kind.
I’ve seen him before. He just started playing Magic, and often wants to see all of the pre-constructed decks and then wants to know if there are specific cards in the tournament packs. He’s a little dense, and more than a little creepy. The unwashed hair and acne do nothing to help his image. Sadly, he wears the card player stereotype very well.
Anyway, this is what goes down:
Nerd: [looks at Haley and me] “Hey, you two shouldn’t be playing a game. You should be having a cat fight.”
[Haley and I exchange bewildered looks, Wade and Kater can sense trouble]
Me: “Really? Are you sure about that? I should probably let you know — I know karate.”
“And really, you shouldn’t talk shit to people you don’t know. You’ll end up wearing your nutsack for a hat.”
“Uh… hey, what’s this?” [picks up Sentry Stone]
“Deployed. You also shouldn’t pick up shit during people’s games.”
“Uh… so what game is this? Warhammer?”
All of us: “Warmachine and Hordes.”
[Nerd wanders to the next table]
I would have been able to keep a straight face if not for the fact Haley started cracking up. It’s because I told her about this t-shirt the day before, which is sadly sold out. I was gonna buy it when I got home last night.
Anyway, we all got a good laugh out of it. And the karate line came up a lot last night — “OK, my Spray Bunny is gonna target the Mauler.” Really? Are you sure? He knows karate.
I would have gone full uber bitch on the nerd if I was at 100%… since I’ve been fighting what is likely walking pneumonia, I’ve been a little more mellow. That, and I saw an opportunity to make a funny. 😛 Frankly, I’m surprised the nerd came up and engaged us — he must not be afeared of teh wimmins. But really, what would make you tell two females they should be having a cat fight? And seriously, you do not pick up someone’s models without permission.
There are days when I wonder how the fuck some people can manage leaving the house and being out in society. Granted, it’s better that they get out of their basements (I guess), but seriously. I’m no stranger to working in a game store. Do I really need to attract all of the dorks? And do they always have to be the creepy ones? Haley’s had the same problem at Hobbytown, when she was being “assisted” by one of the scarier employees there.
Other people’s children. Damn.