More thoughts

May 22, 2010

I was very moved the first time I saw this video, but the imagery didn’t really resonate until today.

I’m still left wondering what makes a person want to stop living at 33. Not passing judgment, will not pass judgment — just trying to understand. This video is helpful in understanding pain to a certain extent.

Maybe some things are better left unknown and we’ll never know the reasons why. Or we’ll hear the reason and wish we didn’t. We’re all finding our own ways to cope with the loss. In times of stress, I turn to music.

I hope you’ll watch the video all the way through the end. And if you’re ever feeling like life isn’t worth living, please, please reach out to someone, anyone.

Suicide prevention

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

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Fair winds and following seas

May 22, 2010

I’m not sure what to say about the loss of a friend, an individual who was an enthusiastic volunteer I wanted to emulate when I joined the Press Gang. Or what to say about a man whose joy and passion about Warmachine and Hordes made me happy I accepted the job as Quartermaster.

We shared two common factions — Protectorate of Menoth and Trollbloods. Last year, we played Trolls together at the Invitational, the first time I met Matt Randy and got to know the beard behind the avatar. He rattled off tricks with Trolls I had never thought of, and couldn’t remember by the time I made it back to Boise after Theater of War Live. Both of us ran detachments — warlock-less forces led by a solo — and both of us had a blast. We told each other throughout the day that we didn’t need a warlock to run our armies, and we were right. We fought off a Cryxian invasion, made nice with Skorne and did what we could to keep our territories safe.

This year, we both brought Protectorate to the Invitational — the main difference being I was now on staff instead of flying in for the weekend. I got to met Larb’s Brother, a.k.a. Mike. I learned that despite having less facial hair, Mike was the elder of the two. And I liked him, despite the fact he played Cryx. 😉 We had exchanged several emails after he became a PG and I was looking forward to meeting him. I really liked the idea of two brothers being PGs having a good time at the Invitational. Matt was a return visitor, whereas last weekend’s festivities were the first for Mike.

I’m sad I didn’t spend more time with Matt, or get to see his converted Cleansers for his Reznik force. He had emailed me about getting his PG order early so he could put the models together and get them painted. I wrote back I wasn’t sure if the warehouse would have everything packed in time. But they did, and he got his models Thursday afternoon. He was excited about playing against Doug Seacat’s Circle force on a scenario table and I checked in on them a few times to see how the battle was going. Laughs and smiles on both sides of the table…

There’s so much more to say, but I can’t find the words. Matt will be greatly missed as a friend. I will miss his posts and insights and emails. I will miss his smile and his great big bushy beard — the beard so epic we decided it was the character and he was the attachment…

Now they’ve both gone epic.

Fair winds and followings seas and long may your big jib draw. Godspeed, Matt.


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